my tutoring session went so well!!!

i had a trial lesson with an online swedish tutor today. i was so nervous, but ended up not having much time to sit in the nerves; we got home with mere minutes to spare. i had just enough time to log on and be nervous for sixty seconds, that's it. 

it was only a half hour lesson, and was mostly introduction and discussing goals and lesson format and whatnot. so in hindsight perhaps i didn't need to be so nervous, but if it had gone poorly, then maybe i would have thought my nerves were justified. 

conversation flowed nearly effortlessly. she asked if i wanted to speak in english first, which i did. then about 2/3 of the way through the session, we had settled all the introductory logistics, and she asked if i wanted to jump right in and try speaking swedish. 

something about her made me more comfortable to speak than i have been before. she's calm and kind, but also smart and thoughtful, without lacking cheekiness or candor. she gently corrected some verb forms just by noting the correct form and moving on, then later she could tell when i didn't understand a more advanced word she used, and stopped to explain it in both english and swedish. 

most importantly, i left the session on my tiptoes, prancing into the other room and beaming a grin at my fiancé. i didn't feel bogged down or embarrassed or stressed. i felt like this (speaking swedish) is actually something i can and will do. 

(i've been thinking a lot about therapists and coaches and things of this nature recently, including how you can tell if you've found a good one: one of the most important bits of information on this front is how you feel afterwards. and then i thought about how that's true of romantic partners too, and how sometimes i used to feel like i'd lost a part of myself after spending time with someone i was seeing, and how with my fiancé, it always felt like i was discovering new parts of myself. find someone who makes you feel like you can fly!)