i don't want to wear sunscreen anymore

so aging just means my skin is going to get worse for the rest of my life? 

i ask because for a while there, i've been on an upwards trajectory in the skin department. my skin was pretty bad in college, then cleared up and has been improving since. and while that's the case, i've had decent motivation to keep up with my skincare and wear sunscreen. 

despite wearing sunscreen ~daily, i recently noticed a few sun spots pop up on my face. and my right eyelid is now half a millimeter droopier than my left eyelid. and i realized that maybe no amount of daily sunscreen will be enough to stop the aging process of my skin. 

so how am i supposed to want to wear sunscreen anymore? when even when i wear it, the sun still has her way with me? 

my skin tingles a bit as i write this. and my lips, they feel a bit tight. it's been a few days now of giving up on sunscreen, and today i happened to be outside (though it was overcast at first) when they sun came out and fixed itself upon me. 

so yeah, i guess i want to wear sunscreen so that i don't get sunburnt. but negative reinforcement never really works for me as well as positive reinforcement does.