maybe i should do morning pages/freewriting or something. my fiancé suggested it—he's so smart and handsome. my hesitation is...maybe it would take the wind out of my sails? like i have to treat the writing impulse delicately or something. as if writing for anything other than the blogpost itself would then make it impossible to write the blogpost.
i'm not sure. i think part of me is also scared to uncover things. it feels safe and nice to choose something that's appropriate for public consumption, but what will i write if i just let myself exist in a space where it wouldn't go anywhere? i've done it before, by hand. and sometimes it does uncover uncomfortable things, and other times it doesn't.
i feel myself wanting to know in advance how something will go before i do it—classic pitfall. oh well, we'll see how it goes. i'll just keep going, regardless.
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