writing what i "should write" almost never works

somehow i've been able to remove enough friction to increase my writing output to a relatively satisfying degree. i blogged ~daily and reached 100 blog posts, and have over 40,000 tweets, and wrote an e-book out of my tweets. 

but i still have not been able to sit down and write what i feel like i "should" write. there's still a major block there. maybe that's okay? maybe i'm fine just writing what feels alive/what i feel like writing in any given moment. 

it might be nice to one day have less friction there, though. i think it's possible that the more i write and write and write, the more i'll be able to tap into Writing Mode on demand more easily, and perhaps write more things that are more suited to consumption by others. 

but also, who knows?

as an aside, i feel like my most-used paragraph opener when blogging is "but." i'm constantly trying to escape starting a paragraph with "but." i almost started all three paragraphs above this one with "but." 

but maybe that's evidence of my continual effort to explore all sides of something. yes, this one thing, but also, this other contradictory thing, too! 

but, but, but. hmm.