lenten sacrifice part two: twitter

it's the first sunday of lent and i have decided i will also give up twitter. giving up cursing didn't feel like enough, and i've also been feeling much more sucked-in by twitter than before. 

"doom-scrolling" isn't an accurate description of how i use twitter. it's typically a positive-sum place for me, where i can share thoughts, be myself, and connect with friends. but sometimes i have less-expressive phases, where twitter becomes more of a scroll and less of a sketchpad. this is one of those times. interestingly, in terms of total time spent, it's much less than many other phases in my life, but it still feels like the time i am spending on twitter is not being spent fruitfully. 

on some level it feels like giving in; i usually feel in control of my social media and phone usage, and tend to disagree when people describe it as solely and objectively negative. without social media (twitter specifically), i would never have met the love of my life! how could it be a bad thing!

but it's neither fully positive nor fully negative. both can be true, and to varying degrees at different times in my life. 

when i first made a twitter account, it was like opening a fire hydrant, releasing a reservoir of thoughts and feelings and experiences. but the reservoir cleared at some point, and i had much less to tweet about. or rather, i had much less that begged to be tweeted; i can always tweet something if i so desire, but some things just spill out of me more than others. 

when i started this blog, it felt like it accessed an entirely different reservoir, with new things that begged to spill out of me. and as a result, my time on twitter become more and more passive, except to tweet here and there about blogging.

it's difficult to think about taking a full break from twitter. without it, i see much less of lots of friends. but i also think that's not a good enough reason to not take a break. friends will still be there when i come back, or maybe they'll be taking a break of their own. 

i think it will be quite difficult for the first few days or first week, but hopefully i'll adjust quickly. i'd like to spend more time doing other things, rather than passively scrolling. i'd like to spend more time and effort writing blogposts. i'd like to read more, both english and swedish books. i'd like to put effort into getting more modeling experience. i'd like to bake my fiancé more cookies.